Its an ex-party!

Alice Mahon, the veteran left Labour activist has left the party she has belonged to for 50 years.

In an interview with the BBC (see link above) she said that she hoped that with a change of leadership the Labour Party may have become “more caring and progressive”, but that she “could not have been more wrong”. She cites the undemocratic nature of Labour Party, making it impossible for the left to reclaim New Labour, the betrayal of election promises – the lack of a referendum on Europe, the privatisation of the Post Office and the continuing troop expansion into an unwinnable war in Afghanistan. She explains that left wingers in Labour have been deselected and conference has become a talking shop and simply ignored. Morevoer, its policies such as the Welfare Bill are attacking the very people which the Labour Party was originally supposed to represent.

This reminds me of a certain comedy sketch . . .

Hello – I wish to register a complaint.

Erm . . . we were just closing.

Never mind that, I wish to register a complaint. This party I joined . . . [Slams membership card down on counter]

Oh, yes, the Labour Party . . . what’s wrong with it?

I’ll tell you what’s wrong with it, it’s dead. That’s what’s wrong with it.

Oh, no. It’s . . . it’s resting.

Look matey, I know a dead party when I see one and I’m looking at one right now.

Oh, no its not dead. It’s resting. Remarkable how New Labour can suddenly be turned round. It just goes through these phases. Look at the nice red rose it has as a logo.

The rose doesn’t come into it. It’s hardly red anymore anyway and the petals have all wilted.

No, no – its just resting.

All right then, if it is resting, I’ll wake it up. [Shouts]HELLO GORDON!!! ANY PRINCIPLES LEFT ANY MORE??? WHO DO YOU REPRESENT??? WAKE UP GORDON, RISE AND SHINE! I’VE GOT SOME LOVELY CRISP TENNERS IN A NICE BROWN ENVELOPE FOR YOU.

[Shopowner gives the card a shove] There, it moved.

That was you.

No it wasn’t. I never did anything.

[Customer waves card up and down] WAKEY WAKEY!!! THIS IS YOUR ALARM CALL! TESTING TESTING! [Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor]

Now that’s what i call a dead party.

No, no – it’s stunned.

STUNNED??

Yeah – you stunned it, just as it was waking up. They stun easily you know, political parties.

Um…now look…now look, mate, I’ve definitely had enough. That party is definitely deceased. When I joined, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it being tired and shagged out following a prolonged meeting.

Well . . . it’s probably pining for socialism.

PINING FOR SOCIALISM?? What sort of talk is that? Anyway as soon as I got it home, its election promises fell completely flat.

New Labour prefers to kip on its back. Remarkable – lovely logo.

Look, I took the liberty of examining this party when I got home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting in Parliament in the
first place was that it had been nailed there.

Well of course it was nailed down – otherwise Brown would have muscled up to Dave Prentis and VOOM! BAM!

VOOM??? This party wouldn’t voom if you put 4 million volts through it. It’s bleeding demised.

No, no . . . it’s pining.

It’s not pining, it’s passed on! This party is no more! It has ceased to be! It’s expired and gone to meet it’s maker! It’s a stiff! Bereft of life, it rests in peace! If you hadn’t nailed it to the bench it’d be pushing up the daisies! It’s metabolic processes are now history! It’s off the twig! It’s kicked the bucket, shuffled off its mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleeding choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-PARTY!!

(pause)

Well, I’d better replace it, then. (he takes a quick peek behind the counter) Sorry squire, I’ve had a look ’round the back of the shop, and uh, we’re right out of parties to represent the working class.

I see. I see, I get the picture.

I got a Tory party.

(pause)

IT’S HARDLY A BLOODY REPLACEMENT, IS IT?!!???!!?

N-no, I guess not. (gets ashamed, looks at his feet)

Well.

(pause)

We need to build a new working-class party again. Join the Campaign for a New Workers’ Party.

Tags: cnwp, Labour Party, mahon, Monty Python, Politics