Cummings and Goings

Oh dear, what can the matter be?
Dominic Cummings gone up to Durham, see?
He was there from Sunday till Saturday,
And nobody knew he was there.

First excuse, I had to get a child minder
I’m only the monkey, not the organ grinder.
On the internet, I just couldn’t find her,
And nobody knew he was there.

And it’s oh, dear, what can the matter be?
Dominic Cummings gone up to Durham, see?
He was there from Sunday till Saturday,
And nobody knew he was there.

Second excuse, just nipped out to shops, you see?
But a faulty sat nav, ended up on the A43
From there, short hop up the A1 motorway,
And nobody knew I was there.

And it’s, oh, dear, what can the matter be?
Dominic Cummings gone up to Durham, see?
He was there from Sunday till Saturday,
Nobody knew he was there.

A precedence made by a scientific aide
Neil resigned, he couldn’t resist getting laid.
Why don’t you follow the rules which you made?
‘Cos nobody knew I was there.

And it’s, oh, dear, what can the matter be?
Dominic Cummings gone up to Durham, see?
He was there from Sunday till Saturday,
And nobody knew he was there.

And then there was Catherine Calderwood,
Visiting second home, ‘cos she thought she could
Get away to Fife, but soon she would
Find everyone knew she was there.

And it’s, oh dear, what can the matter be?
Dominic Cummings gone up to Durham, see?
He was there from Sunday till Saturday,
Nobody knew he was there.

A morality tale, for the great and the good
Follow the rules, that you said we should
Don’t try to hide behind spin and falsehood,
Someone will find out you were there.